Our colleague Eric-Paul Johnson provided wonderful coverage of DLS-Centennial this week leading up to the game, and even offered a visual breakdown of who might win each important category, like offense, defense and intangibles.

We’d like to offer a different sort of breakdown. Corona vs. Concord, Battle for the Golden State.

We know this one’s already underway, there’s plenty of football to go. Let’s see who wins the Tale of the Tape.

Category
CITY’S NAMESAKE
Corona – Beer
Concord – Grape Juice
Advantage: Corona – Grape juice stains are tougher to remove
UBIQUITOUS DANCE CRAZE
Corona – Soulja Boy
Concord – Hyphy
Advantage: Push – No one’s a winner when these two are involved.
REGIONAL DELICACIES
Corona – Flame Broiler
Concord – Sushi
Advantage: Corona – Do yourself a favor, drive down Magnolia, and visit Linda and the gang. She’ll hook you up.
FAMOUS RESIDENTS
Corona – Travis Barker
Concord – Tom Hanks
Advantage: Concord – Travis who?
MOST FAMOUS ALUMNI
Corona Centennial – Brandon Kessel, 96.7 KCAL disc jockey
Concord De La Salle – Chris Cummings, Dance Dance Revolution grand champion
Advantage: Push – Is this the best we can do?
As you can see, when you break it down scientifically, Corona wins the battle of fine dining and no-name celebrities. Whether this helps the Huskies on the field is another story.

We’ve hit the end of the first quarter with the score tied at 7.

Remember what we said about triple digits? We’re morons.